#4 To my father.

Once I was born into an unknown world
As I opened my hazy-focused eyes
You were there staring at me like I was the perfect creature made by God
You carried me in your arms like I was a fragile glass that would surely break once you hold onto it tightly
You smiled and said my name
I stare up at you hoping that even though I still can't speak
You would understand what my eyes are trying to say.

Once I was a five year old kid
You carried me in your arms
Calling me and telling me that I am your "siobe"
And I giggle like it was the best compliment I have every heard
I hug you tightly
Hoping that through my embrace
You would surely understand what I'm trying to say.

Once I was a thirteen year old teenager
Too young to know the world but too old to sit on the supermarket's cart
You hold onto my hand
As if I'd be gone if you weren't holding onto it
I'm still young and in need of a lot of your reassurance and presence
I hold your hand tightly
Wishing that my actions
Well let you understand what I'm trying to say.

Once I was seventeen year old
Am now in college and trying to find my own path in life
You call up to me
And we have our late-night bonding/s
Each stories makes me understand you a lot better
And I hope that through the ears that I lend for listening
May let you understand how much you meant to me.

Now I'm eighteen years old
Still a kid at heart but have an independent mind that can think
I'm still your "siobe"
that little girl who was lost in a shopping mall due to a hotdog stand
that little girl who only wants to be carried by another person all day long
that little girl who has a very big ego (makapal mukha)
And nothing can change that.

I still don't have anything to make you proud of
And I still need your continued guidance
But here's a poem/letter
I hope would let you understand what I really feel...

I'm very thankful to have a father like you
I love you, papa!
Happy 50th! mwah!

(June 4, 2010)