#8 I learned.

I wish I could go back to the time when all I had to think of was how I would be able to wake up early the next morning for school.

I wish I could go back to the time when all I care about was what I eat on McDonald's every Sunday while stopping my chubby little body from growing bigger.

I'd like to go back to that time when all I do is laugh, laugh and laugh more about something that I'd probably think of today as something that isn't worth laughing about.

I'd like to be able to smile again like nothing on earth would ever let that perfect smile fade away from my face.

I'd like to be able to think of thoughts like that of a little girl's innocent mind again and stop these crazy voices from crashing down on me even for just one day.

I'd like to dream of beautiful things where I wouldn't be a terrorist, terrorizing a computer shop with a time bomb that's about to explode in about five seconds.

I'd like to befriend you all over again with a genuine smile plastered across my face.

I'd like to love you again with the same amount of pure happiness that you get from a box of Ferrero Rocher.

I'd surely want to correct the mistakes I did.

I'd surely want to do everything in the right way again.

But I know for one fact
This are all wishful thinking that my mind wants to be able to go back to...

I may have regret a lot of things that I'd probably would deny if you asked me personally right now,

But here's one thing I'd have to say...

I learned.

:)

(June 8, 2010)

#7 To my best friend.

If I knew
how to use several languages
to give you a simple happy birthday message
I would.

In Chinese,
I would wish you
Luck in all the things
That you want to take on.

In English,
I would hope
For you to be able to pass over
All the obstacles God will bring you.

In Japanese,
I would pray
That you'd be able to cross the globe
In search of what you truly want to do with your life.

In French,
I would dream
That you'd find the love
The love that you've been waiting for,
for so long.

In Filipino,
I would say
Loud and clear that we, your friends,
Are glad to have met someone special like you.

In computer language,
I would program
You something that may help you
Finish those strings and loops
I manage to see on your laptop.

And lastly in Latin,
I would sing to God
That may He bestow you good health
To help you take on the challenge of living this life.

I thank God
For giving me a best friend like you
That even though we don't even get to see each other
And have our talks and moments
We still share the same strong bond that we always had from the start.

I will always love you,
my best friend.

Love,
Charisse

(June 7, 2010)

#6 Like falling in love with something new everyday.

You don't know
How much I appreciate
Your support
The kind that makes me feel
So very much a part of an extended family
I hope to have

You don't know
How much I appreciate
Life after you came
Spontaneous
like a river smoothly flowing
Over a vast plain

You don't know
How much I appreciate
Your small gestures
Those that makes my heart skip a beat
Like falling in love
With something new everyday

You don't know
That life without someone like you
Wouldn't be the same as it were now
It sounds cliche
But I never would ever want to imagine
Never would want nothing to do with you

(June 6, 2010)

#5 Ako.

I smile
Because today I could still open my eyes
And appreciate the beautiful things around me
I laugh
Because today I could still hear clearly
The voices of the people I have come to cherish and love
I cry
Because today I could still feel
How much each of those people means to me
I kiss
Because today I still want
To let all those people know I'm here for them
I write
Because I still want to touch
The lives of others even for a mere second
I sing
Because today I still want
Others to understand how I feel when my own words can't describe what I really want to say

This is all I have
But I'm never ashamed nor in doubt
I believe
Because I know that
Everyday is a miracle
And only this, I can say
Thank you God

(June 6, 2010)

#4 To my father.

Once I was born into an unknown world
As I opened my hazy-focused eyes
You were there staring at me like I was the perfect creature made by God
You carried me in your arms like I was a fragile glass that would surely break once you hold onto it tightly
You smiled and said my name
I stare up at you hoping that even though I still can't speak
You would understand what my eyes are trying to say.

Once I was a five year old kid
You carried me in your arms
Calling me and telling me that I am your "siobe"
And I giggle like it was the best compliment I have every heard
I hug you tightly
Hoping that through my embrace
You would surely understand what I'm trying to say.

Once I was a thirteen year old teenager
Too young to know the world but too old to sit on the supermarket's cart
You hold onto my hand
As if I'd be gone if you weren't holding onto it
I'm still young and in need of a lot of your reassurance and presence
I hold your hand tightly
Wishing that my actions
Well let you understand what I'm trying to say.

Once I was seventeen year old
Am now in college and trying to find my own path in life
You call up to me
And we have our late-night bonding/s
Each stories makes me understand you a lot better
And I hope that through the ears that I lend for listening
May let you understand how much you meant to me.

Now I'm eighteen years old
Still a kid at heart but have an independent mind that can think
I'm still your "siobe"
that little girl who was lost in a shopping mall due to a hotdog stand
that little girl who only wants to be carried by another person all day long
that little girl who has a very big ego (makapal mukha)
And nothing can change that.

I still don't have anything to make you proud of
And I still need your continued guidance
But here's a poem/letter
I hope would let you understand what I really feel...

I'm very thankful to have a father like you
I love you, papa!
Happy 50th! mwah!

(June 4, 2010)

#3 McDonald's.

What's best about today
Wasn't where I've been to
Wasn't what I've been bothered by
Wasn't how long I walked just to get from one place to another
It wasn't what I ate
And it definitely wasn't how much calories those food I consumed had.

What's best about today
Was the laughter
The conversation
The day itself
And the fact that a hundred pesos could make me happier than I actually am.

And it wasn't all that
What's best about today
Was the conversation I had with those people I come to know as friends
It was the bond that a few hours of staying at McDonald's could give
Kudos to all of you!
You all are truly one of a kind.

(June 3, 2010)

#2 Wednesday.

I'm thankful for having you
For having someone to talk to
For having someone to lean on
For having somebody who I know would save me and help clear the things that I'm afraid to take on.

I'm thankful for meeting you
On the days that I felt alone
On the days that the sun is brighter than I could ever imagine
Thank you for letting me be who I am.

There's so much I could say
There's so much I would want to say
But no other words could somehow ever describe what it is I'm feeling.

I thank the Lord that you're here with me
That He had planned and intertwined our very own worlds.

I thank you for today.

And for the rest of the days...
I'm going to be thankful for having a person like you come into my life.

~C. Chua (June 2, 2010)